Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
Randomize
