if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
Randomize
