Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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