It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
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