puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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