Your face is a jimmy john
I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Randomize
