I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
