And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
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