My boss' voice literally gives me gas
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
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