You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Randomize