his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
