Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
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