Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
This is classic penis vs brain.
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
My breath smells like gin and sadness
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
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