when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
false alarm, still single
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
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