just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
Randomize