OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
where are my pants?
in the oven.
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