I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
is wine microwaveable?
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
Randomize
