Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
Where is the hickey?
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
