God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
Randomize
