I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Randomize