dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
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