omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
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