good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
Randomize
