You're completely useless in the revolution.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
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