Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
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