LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
Randomize
