How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
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