i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
Randomize
