Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
Randomize
