Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
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