he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
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