I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
Randomize
