He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
Randomize
