READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
Randomize
