yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
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