You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
Randomize
