there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
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