I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
Randomize
