Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
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