tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
Randomize
