I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Randomize
