The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
Randomize
