just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
