I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
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