Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
