Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
The struggles of a small town man whore
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
Randomize