I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize
