we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
Are we still banned from the library?
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
be right there i have to get my cape
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
