just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
