Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
Randomize
