A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Randomize
