Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
Randomize
