there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
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