Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
Randomize