i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize
