I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
My liver just had a heart attack.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
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