You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
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