i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
So, my ex just showed me the drunk voicemail we left him last night. Started out with me saying "I think it's Shane." Then you took my phone and started singing a song about peanut butter, train tracks, and tequila. I joined in. On the upside, he said he's totally fine with being on the drunk dial list from now on. Soooo, another tequila night??
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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