is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
please come you make the beer taste better
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
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