She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Randomize
