At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
This girl is more easily done than said...
I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
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