Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Randomize
