How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Randomize
