We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
Randomize
