i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
Do you have any cake mix? I kind of need to make a "im sorry i drank all your parents tequila, threw up all over your floor and slept with you boyfriend" cake.
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Randomize
