i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
