I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
Randomize
