why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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